1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:17,099 2 00:00:17,099 --> 00:00:17,890 Lou Whiting: Hello. 3 00:00:17,890 --> 00:00:19,010 I am Lou. 4 00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,550 I am from outside of Chicago. 5 00:00:20,550 --> 00:00:23,020 And I attend the Unitarian Universalist Society 6 00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:27,230 of Geneva, Illinois. 7 00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:29,815 Two years ago I remember trying to catch a train out 8 00:00:29,815 --> 00:00:31,800 to see a friend a couple towns over. 9 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,800 Now it was a Sunday and trains only run every two hours 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:35,500 on Sundays. 11 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,490 And I managed to miss my train not 12 00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:40,550 only once, but twice in a row. 13 00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:42,890 After the second time, I realized that maybe I 14 00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:46,030 should wait out the next two hours at the train station 15 00:00:46,030 --> 00:00:49,010 instead of running home again to grab that thing 16 00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:52,190 that I forgot again. 17 00:00:52,190 --> 00:00:53,730 I have ADHD. 18 00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:55,740 It's what life is like for me. 19 00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:59,050 I'm constantly forgetting things and perpetually running late. 20 00:00:59,050 --> 00:01:03,030 It's been very frustrating, but this year I've 21 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,930 accepted it as a challenge that I'm 22 00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:07,290 going to have to face for the rest of my life 23 00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:10,400 and not something with a short-term solution. 24 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,320 As is such, a couple weeks ago I started 25 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:16,280 introducing myself to groups and people as, hi, I'm Lou. 26 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,765 I have ADHD. 27 00:01:17,765 --> 00:01:20,390 I'll probably be late to some of the activities and things that 28 00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:20,999 are going on. 29 00:01:20,999 --> 00:01:22,790 And I want you to know that I don't mean it 30 00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:25,780 as a sign of disrespect, that I care just as much 31 00:01:25,780 --> 00:01:26,810 as every other person. 32 00:01:26,810 --> 00:01:30,080 These things are just a little bit harder for me. 33 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,980 I know from talking to mainly adults who 34 00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:38,070 I've told this to that it comes across as self-centered. 35 00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:39,592 And it is. 36 00:01:39,592 --> 00:01:40,923 And I am. 37 00:01:40,923 --> 00:01:44,030 [LAUGHTER] 38 00:01:44,030 --> 00:01:49,110 To be human is to be self-centered. 39 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:52,890 We give it such a negative connotation. 40 00:01:52,890 --> 00:01:56,520 We have this idea of the perfect person as somebody 41 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,520 who is completely selfless and incredibly generous. 42 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,200 We say people are self-centered-- for example, 43 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,450 older generations talking about younger ones. 44 00:02:06,450 --> 00:02:09,479 The kids today are so self-centered. 45 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,830 Youth say it about each other. 46 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,570 Wow, they're so self-centered. 47 00:02:12,570 --> 00:02:15,070 All they do is post selfies on the Facebook and the Twitter. 48 00:02:15,070 --> 00:02:17,510 [LAUGHTER] 49 00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:19,770 I've heard my friends say this. 50 00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:21,530 I've said this. 51 00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:23,420 We say it about people who disappoint us. 52 00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:27,830 How could you be so self-centered? 53 00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:30,420 But we need to be. 54 00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:34,700 We owe it to ourselves to take care of ourselves. 55 00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:38,680 We need to make sure that our health, mentally, emotionally, 56 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,880 physically, and spiritually, is in check so we 57 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,790 can be the people and live to our fullest 58 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:49,940 when interacting with others in the world. 59 00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:54,780 There's this paradox of guilt that happens. 60 00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:58,380 We hold standards for other people that are very high 61 00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:01,350 and we don't meet them ourselves. 62 00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:03,880 So we feel bad about that. 63 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,160 And then we forgive others more easily 64 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,005 than we forgive ourselves. 65 00:03:08,005 --> 00:03:10,990 And we feel bad about that. 66 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:15,220 And it becomes this perpetuating cycle of guilt. 67 00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:19,840 And so in being so focused on the self and how bad we feel, 68 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,550 we get upset for others or with others for being self-centered. 69 00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:28,600 We forget that we are not the only ones who have just as much 70 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:36,340 going on up here and in here as we have going on out there. 71 00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:39,130 But that's why we have sayings. 72 00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:41,060 That's why we have phrases and lessons. 73 00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:45,140 That's why we have things like love thy neighbor as thyself. 74 00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:48,710 Love thyself as thy neighbor. 75 00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:52,010 Treat others the way you wish to be treated. 76 00:03:52,010 --> 00:03:55,910 Treat yourself as well as you treat everyone else. 77 00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:59,080 Everyone has inherent worth and dignity. 78 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,540 You have inherent worth and dignity. 79 00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:05,240 I have inherent worth and dignity. 80 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,600 You're allowed to say things like this. 81 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,930 You're allowed to say things like this. 82 00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:13,730 Thank you. 83 00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,880 [APPLAUSE] 84 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:22,272