1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,440 2 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:02,750 Susan Lawrence: Hi, everybody. 3 00:00:02,750 --> 00:00:05,610 Welcome to Our Whole Lives Update and Ways 4 00:00:05,610 --> 00:00:07,380 You Can Support Parents and Caregivers 5 00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:09,920 as Sexuality Educators, which is our webinar 6 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:13,090 topic for June, 2015. 7 00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:15,470 I'm Susan Lawrence, your host for today, 8 00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:21,390 and Dr. Melanie Davis from the UUA Faith Development Office 9 00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:23,870 as OWL program associate is presenting, 10 00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:27,010 and our tech support person is Alicia LeBlanc, 11 00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:29,350 who is our administrative editorial assistant. 12 00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,780 So thanks for joining us, and I'm 13 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:37,696 going to let Melanie get started. 14 00:00:37,696 --> 00:00:40,290 Dr. Melanie Davis: Hi everybody, wherever 15 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:44,660 you're calling in from, thank you for being here. 16 00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:49,200 I'm going to begin with a brief overview of the Our Whole Lives 17 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,700 Sexuality Education curriculum for those of you 18 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:55,770 who may be unfamiliar with it, or maybe just would 19 00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:57,460 like to know a little bit more. 20 00:00:57,460 --> 00:01:00,590 Our Whole Lives is a lifespan comprehensive sexuality 21 00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:02,110 education curriculum. 22 00:01:02,110 --> 00:01:05,510 It's jointly published by the Unitarian Universalist 23 00:01:05,510 --> 00:01:09,430 Association and the United Church of Christ. 24 00:01:09,430 --> 00:01:13,410 Despite being co published by two religious organizations, 25 00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:16,520 it is completely secular and doesn't have 26 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,150 any religious doctrine in it. 27 00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:25,800 This series includes levels from kindergarten through adulthood. 28 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,830 Our Whole Lives gives children, youth, and adults 29 00:01:28,830 --> 00:01:31,850 a safe forum in which they can make meaning 30 00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:34,550 of their lives and sexuality. 31 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:36,750 They learn to feel positive about themselves 32 00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:39,390 and their sexuality, they clarify values, 33 00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:42,610 they apply new knowledge to their lives, their feelings, 34 00:01:42,610 --> 00:01:44,720 their behaviors, and their identity 35 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,890 and they also learn to appreciate these things 36 00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:49,280 about other people. 37 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:53,510 When you invite parents to enroll their children and teens 38 00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:56,210 in an Our Whole Lives program you 39 00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:59,520 may want to tell them that this curriculum is regarded 40 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,900 in the United States and abroad as a gold standard 41 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,240 for sexuality education curriculum. 42 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,509 So they can really have a lot of confidence in it. 43 00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:12,400 Sexuality and Our Faith is the companion guide 44 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,150 to Our Whole Lives and it's what puts the sexuality education 45 00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:20,410 material in the context of our religious values. 46 00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:23,950 The same manual has information to be 47 00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:26,620 used in Unitarian Universalist setting, 48 00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:29,160 and then the other half of the book 49 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:33,230 is designed for people from the United Church of Christ 50 00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,630 to use in their settings. 51 00:02:35,630 --> 00:02:39,900 When OWL and Sexuality and Our Faith are used together, 52 00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:44,120 participants grow in spiritual depth, and in prophetic vision, 53 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,100 and in their understanding of the importance 54 00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:50,830 of acting for justice. 55 00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:52,930 The newest releases in this series 56 00:02:52,930 --> 00:02:57,620 are the second edition Our Whole Lives for grades seven to nine, 57 00:02:57,620 --> 00:03:01,320 and its Sexuality and Our Faith companion. 58 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,840 The second edition of OWL is state of the art. 59 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:12,010 It has new terms for anatomy and gender an orientation. 60 00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:14,850 We have new topics, such as bullying and bystander 61 00:03:14,850 --> 00:03:17,920 responsibilities, consent education, 62 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,740 sexuality social media and the internet, 63 00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:24,480 and communicating with a sexual partner. 64 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,510 In the new edition of Sexuality in Our Faith for grades seven 65 00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:31,810 to nine there is a standalone workshop on pornography 66 00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:34,800 that you will not find in the OWL curriculum. 67 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,230 The only way to access it through Sexuality 68 00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:39,090 in our Faith and that's because we 69 00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:42,650 wanted to put it in the context of our religious values. 70 00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:46,840 I'll talk a little bit more about that workshop later. 71 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:51,980 The UUA is committed to always providing the best sexuality 72 00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:56,070 education materials that we can, and so in light of that, 73 00:03:56,070 --> 00:04:01,090 we are currently revising the grades four to six curriculum 74 00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:04,580 and then we'll be looking at other curricula 75 00:04:04,580 --> 00:04:07,380 to update as well. 76 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:10,850 Also we are developing OWL for older adults. 77 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,260 There's a lot of buzz and excitement about that. 78 00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:20,390 That will be for people ages 50 and above. 79 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,040 One of the reasons that Our Whole Lives is so popular 80 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,310 is that it's holistic. 81 00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:29,870 It teaches that sexuality is far more than sexual health 82 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,874 and reproduction, and of course that's 83 00:04:31,874 --> 00:04:34,040 the material-- the sexual health and reproduction is 84 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,960 what they get in school-- but we offer so much more. 85 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,310 We teach it sexuality is a broad construct affecting nearly 86 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,880 every aspect our lives throughout our lives, 87 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,290 from our body, to our identity, to our self 88 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:51,600 esteem, our sexual safety, and the relationships that we 89 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,060 engage in. 90 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,590 The center circle that you can see there 91 00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:58,960 is for values, because our values affect 92 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,160 all aspects of our sexuality. 93 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,670 And again when we use it with Sexuality in Our Faith, 94 00:05:05,670 --> 00:05:07,820 that puts sexuality in the context 95 00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:10,350 of our religious beliefs. 96 00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:14,650 But OWL also has its own set of values. 97 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:19,390 Those are self worth, responsibility, sexual health, 98 00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:21,410 and justice and inclusivity. 99 00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:24,810 And those values are threaded through every level 100 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:27,630 of the curriculum in, of course, developmentally appropriate 101 00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:31,160 ways. 102 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:35,250 Our Whole Lives is one of our most successful programs. 103 00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,610 More than 50% of our congregations 104 00:05:37,610 --> 00:05:40,490 have offered at least one level of the program, 105 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:43,860 and many of those who haven't offer it yet, 106 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:46,140 it's not for lack of desire, but maybe they 107 00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:50,110 don't have enough people in a certain age cohort to offer it, 108 00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:53,190 or maybe they have other priorities at the time. 109 00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:55,860 But we're really proud of the number of people 110 00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:57,860 that are participating. 111 00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:03,530 92% of OWL users are Unitarian Universalist congregations, 112 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:07,760 but it's also used by the United Church of Christ congregations, 113 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:11,480 by members of the Canadian Unitarian Council, 114 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,980 by other faith traditions, by home schoolers, charter 115 00:06:14,980 --> 00:06:17,630 schools, and private schools, in community 116 00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:19,270 and educational settings. 117 00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,780 It's also used in a couple correctional facilities, 118 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:24,050 which is very interesting. 119 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,960 More than 9,000 people have been trained 120 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,760 to facilitate at least one level of OWL, 121 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:34,160 so you probably have one or more at your congregation. 122 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,740 About 200 people have been trained 123 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:42,480 to train facilitators and of that 116 are still active. 124 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,940 And more will be added this fall after we 125 00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:47,010 have a training of trainers for the young adult 126 00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:49,790 and adult levels. 127 00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:52,250 There's a lot of interest in Our Whole Lives. 128 00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:57,140 In one year alone, we had over 52,000 views of our web pages. 129 00:06:57,140 --> 00:07:00,750 If you haven't accessed those, please do. 130 00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:07,360 They are uua.org/re/owl and there's all sorts 131 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,870 of information there. 132 00:07:08,870 --> 00:07:14,900 That link will be posted later on as well. 133 00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:18,090 Parents of youth who have special education needs 134 00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:20,710 have every right to want their children 135 00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:23,950 and Our Whole Lives classes at any level, 136 00:07:23,950 --> 00:07:26,260 but sometimes this can pose challenges 137 00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:29,130 in terms of classroom management or differences 138 00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,260 in learning styles. 139 00:07:31,260 --> 00:07:35,020 The second edition of Our Whole Lives for grades seven to nine 140 00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:40,620 includes a guide that explains how facilitators can anticipate 141 00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:43,490 and address the learning needs of youth 142 00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:46,930 with autism spectrum disorders, or attention 143 00:07:46,930 --> 00:07:50,190 related, or intellectual, or learning disabilities 144 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:53,620 so that more youth can fully participate and learn 145 00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:55,290 from the program. 146 00:07:55,290 --> 00:07:59,970 We have posted a standalone version of this special chapter 147 00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:04,100 in the facilitators resources area of the OWL web pages 148 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,710 on the uua.org site. 149 00:08:06,710 --> 00:08:08,670 So you're welcome to download it. 150 00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:10,700 It's a 15 page document. 151 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:14,150 You can download it and share it both your OWL facilitators 152 00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:18,150 and you can adapt it for use with other religious education 153 00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:20,690 programming that you offer. 154 00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:23,380 If you'll be at General Assembly, 155 00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:26,910 please attend, or encourage parents to attend, 156 00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:29,460 two workshops that we're offering. 157 00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:34,169 One is on Friday afternoon and is called OWL and Autism, 158 00:08:34,169 --> 00:08:35,789 Building Better Fit. 159 00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:38,789 And I'm co-presenting that with Raymond [? Selov ?] who 160 00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:41,480 is one of our OWL trainers and facilitators, 161 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,480 and he himself is autistic. 162 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,940 On Saturday afternoon, I'm co-presenting a workshop 163 00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:52,050 called OWL Finding Solutions for Diverse Participants 164 00:08:52,050 --> 00:08:54,570 with Suzanne Fast as a co present. 165 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:57,170 She is the president of Equal Access, 166 00:08:57,170 --> 00:09:02,130 which is a UU accessibility advocacy organization. 167 00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:06,610 And this workshop will address other types of inclusion 168 00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:12,480 and help religious educators figure out, well is OWL 169 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,090 a good fit for this particular participant 170 00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:20,820 and if not, what other options might week we have? 171 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:23,990 Also on Saturday morning from 11 To 11:30 172 00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:28,830 I'll be doing an informal half hour program in the gathering 173 00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:31,750 place, which is designed to help parents think 174 00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:34,710 about their role as their children's primary sexuality 175 00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:35,630 educators. 176 00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:42,140 So lots of things going on. 177 00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:44,680 I mentioned earlier the workshop, 178 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:51,310 the standalone workshop that is in Sexuality in Our Faith, 179 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:54,540 this is a workshop that addresses an issue that 180 00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:56,910 concerns a great many parents. 181 00:09:56,910 --> 00:10:00,100 We get emails from parents, we get emails 182 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,360 from religious educators who have parents coming 183 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:07,420 to them really concerned about their children 184 00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:10,540 accessing sexually explicit media. 185 00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:14,480 So we created a workshop-- in and again we 186 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,490 put in Sexuality and Our Faith so 187 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:21,890 that we can wrap our own religious values around it. 188 00:10:21,890 --> 00:10:25,580 And we certainly hope that, while some people may 189 00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:28,300 buy the manual just for the workshop, 190 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,340 we certainly hope that once you have the manual, 191 00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:35,760 you'll actually incorporate each lesson along 192 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,240 with OWL as you go through. 193 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,740 It really gives a fuller and richer experience 194 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,440 for your participants. 195 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,280 One of the reasons that this is necessary 196 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:48,900 is that children get so many mixed messages about sexuality 197 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,550 that they're supposed to be sexy, 198 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:53,400 but if they're sexy that's inappropriate. 199 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,460 And then their natural curiosity can get them 200 00:10:56,460 --> 00:10:59,130 into awkward situations. 201 00:10:59,130 --> 00:11:01,970 So this is a really helpful tool to help 202 00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:05,500 youth assess the difference between material that 203 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,840 can really be helpful for them and the material that's 204 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,770 designed for adults and is really not appropriate for use 205 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:16,690 at this age. 206 00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:17,940 I just love this little guy. 207 00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:21,800 He's so cute. 208 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,200 One of things that some people don't know about the OWL 209 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:29,960 curriculum is that every time we reprint 210 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,940 we have an opportunity to make small changes 211 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:36,400 in the manuscript. 212 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,890 Something like what we just did with the grade seven 213 00:11:39,890 --> 00:11:42,530 to nine curriculum was a whole revision, 214 00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:45,550 so we looked at everything and we made a lot of changes 215 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,330 throughout and added new content. 216 00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:50,740 A reprint is not that, but with a reprint 217 00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:54,210 we can change, for example, gendered language 218 00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:57,260 that back in 1999 when something was written maybe 219 00:11:57,260 --> 00:12:00,730 we used a lot of he/she kind of language 220 00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:05,240 and now we use more "they" or gender neutral language. 221 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:08,020 The other thing that we can do when we reprint is we 222 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:11,560 can update the resources section. 223 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:15,640 So we can take out resources that are no longer available 224 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,970 and add really nice resources that have become available. 225 00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:26,800 So even if you already have a K-1 curriculum, for example, 226 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,860 but you bought it way back when the program started, 227 00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:33,950 it might be to your benefit to invest in buying another copy. 228 00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:35,450 One of the things that you can do 229 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:38,080 is when you have your copy in hand, 230 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,990 you can call the bookstore and they can tell you 231 00:12:40,990 --> 00:12:44,400 whether a new addition has been printed 232 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,180 and how much difference there might 233 00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:49,900 be between the one that you have and the one that's 234 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,330 available for sale now. 235 00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:57,720 We are very excited to say that in November when we printed 236 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,120 the new addition, the second edition, of Our Whole Live 237 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,650 for grades seven to nine, we printed 2,000 copies 238 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:09,070 and they're nearly sold out, which is really exciting to us, 239 00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:14,920 so we'll be reprinting that soon. 240 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,250 I'd like to see before we go on whether anybody 241 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:21,000 has any questions about the curriculum 242 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,710 itself and then after that we can talk about parents 243 00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:27,900 as sexuality educators. 244 00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:30,440 So feel free to type questions in the chat box 245 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:44,620 if you have any. 246 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:50,840 OK I'm not seeing any questions. 247 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:54,450 So, I'd like to ask you a question, which 248 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:57,030 is what kind of challenges do you 249 00:13:57,030 --> 00:14:01,470 think that parents and caregivers face related 250 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:03,980 to their roles as sexuality educators? 251 00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:08,680 What kind of questions are you hearing from parents 252 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:12,090 or caregivers or concerns? 253 00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:14,260 Or what are some observations that you 254 00:14:14,260 --> 00:14:17,930 might have even if these folks aren't posing questions to you. 255 00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:21,300 You can feel free to type some ideas that you 256 00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:37,840 have into the chat box. 257 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:48,804 They themselves didn't receive quality education. 258 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,970 So here's a comment about making sure that the older 259 00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:55,269 ones address autism. 260 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,810 Some of the families aren't sure they 261 00:14:56,810 --> 00:15:05,780 want to overexpose their kids to information. 262 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:08,030 Susan Lawrence: Melanie I think we missed a little bit 263 00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:08,946 of the question above. 264 00:15:08,946 --> 00:15:12,640 It has to do with people undiagnosed 265 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:16,160 with autism as young people who are now older people. 266 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,350 So I'm not exactly sure. 267 00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:25,840 But I would suggest that the new chapter that we've 268 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:30,660 put online about adapting OWL seven through nine for people 269 00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:37,140 with autism spectrum disorders and other types of learning 270 00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:39,410 things and cognitive disabilities, 271 00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:41,940 that might have some useful information that might help 272 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,870 the person involved backtrack to look 273 00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:46,370 at the information in a new way with that 274 00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:49,180 in mind about their own learning style and needs 275 00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:52,270 Dr. Melanie Davis: Also there are curricula available 276 00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:57,350 that are specifically written for adults with autism spectrum 277 00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:58,730 disorders. 278 00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:02,600 So if they were enrolled in an OWL program 279 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,710 and it wasn't meeting their needs 280 00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:10,170 they might look at another curriculum. 281 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:17,070 Let's see somebody typed in-- Some of the families 282 00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:19,070 aren't sure they want to overexpose their kids, 283 00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:20,945 they want to talk to their kids, but the kids 284 00:16:20,945 --> 00:16:24,200 won't talk to them. 285 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,950 They're uncomfortable with these slides. 286 00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:30,370 The slides is a good thing to bring up. 287 00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:33,410 We no longer use the slides we have 288 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,590 a DVD that has a narration. 289 00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:39,970 If you don't want to use the original narration, 290 00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:42,780 there is a newer narration that you can actually 291 00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:47,410 turn the sound down and read it yourself. 292 00:16:47,410 --> 00:16:50,290 But if you're using the old slides, 293 00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:55,230 please do call the UUA bookstore and order yourself 294 00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:59,500 the DVDs, because the information is updated 295 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,597 and you can just destroy the slides. 296 00:17:03,597 --> 00:17:05,430 Let's see somebody has a question about when 297 00:17:05,430 --> 00:17:08,230 to start that it's harder to convince parents at their kids 298 00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:10,410 should take K-one or four-six instead 299 00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:16,140 of waiting until junior high or middle school. 300 00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:19,920 A question about the DVD and new images. 301 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,399 No, they're reordered a little bit 302 00:17:22,399 --> 00:17:24,940 and I think there are one or two that are no longer in there, 303 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:26,579 but pretty much it's the same images, 304 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:30,530 but you don't have to stop and start to click between them. 305 00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:36,370 So there are a lot of challenges that people face. 306 00:17:36,370 --> 00:17:40,060 And they can be addressed in different ways. 307 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:44,140 Let's go to the first one was buy in. 308 00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:50,500 One of the things that you can do to increase buy in 309 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:54,270 is to not just start the program cold, 310 00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:59,080 but to start conversations in advance. 311 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:04,700 So you can maybe do a one evening parent get together 312 00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:08,360 and talk about parents as sexuality educators. 313 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,320 We're going to be talking about a new curriculum 314 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,390 that we have for parents a little bit later. 315 00:18:14,390 --> 00:18:16,620 So that's an option. 316 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:20,380 Either a religious educators or facilitators 317 00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:25,160 can speak from the pulpit about Our Whole Lives, 318 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,850 or your minister could do that, talking 319 00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:30,570 about sexuality and the need to really understand 320 00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:31,720 what's going on. 321 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,050 So if you kind of build a culture 322 00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:39,030 of need and appreciation for talking about sexuality, then 323 00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:45,110 when you actually want to offer OWL, that and can help a lot. 324 00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:52,660 Somebody said not wanting their kids to be overexposed. 325 00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:55,880 One of the ways to address that is, 326 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,370 and we do talk about this in the parent orientation, 327 00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:01,590 is that young people are just bombarded 328 00:19:01,590 --> 00:19:04,170 with all sorts of sexual information. 329 00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:05,860 They're talking about it in school, 330 00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:08,780 they're seeing it on magazine covers. 331 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:11,505 You go to the movies, you think you're seeing a regular film 332 00:19:11,505 --> 00:19:12,880 with your kids and they're seeing 333 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,100 previews that have a lot of sexual innuendo 334 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,200 or images in them. 335 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,330 Video games are full of sexual images 336 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:28,120 and sometimes have rape that is glorified in video games. 337 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,030 So all these images are coming into their kids. 338 00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:33,260 It's not that the kids are naive, 339 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:35,850 it's just the kids are seeing this stuff 340 00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:40,160 and they don't have necessarily a way to put it into context. 341 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,890 And so what OWL does is help you put these messages 342 00:19:44,890 --> 00:19:47,090 into context. 343 00:19:47,090 --> 00:19:51,300 And then when OWL facilitators talk to parents 344 00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:53,580 during orientation, they talk about how 345 00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:58,150 parents need to be their primary source of sexual values 346 00:19:58,150 --> 00:20:00,150 and information for their kids. 347 00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:04,350 So it becomes a community effort to try to put sexuality 348 00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:12,320 in perspective, so it's a very helpful thing for young people. 349 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,890 Kids won't talk to parents. 350 00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:16,640 Well, yeah, a lot of kids won't talk to their parents. 351 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,210 But they might talk to OWL facilitators 352 00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:21,080 because when they're in an OWL class, 353 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:25,240 they have two trusted adults that they can turn to. 354 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,620 They also learn a lot from their peers 355 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,010 through guided discussions. 356 00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:32,110 You have trained facilitators who 357 00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:34,510 are listening to these conversations that 358 00:20:34,510 --> 00:20:36,370 can be very casual conversations, 359 00:20:36,370 --> 00:20:38,640 but you have trained adults who are listening 360 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:42,910 in correcting misinformation. 361 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:45,820 For parents, one of the things that you can suggest, 362 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:50,360 or if you yourself are a parent, is thinking of sex ed 363 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:54,870 at home as taking place in little tiny increments, 364 00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:57,770 like less than a minute at a time. 365 00:20:57,770 --> 00:20:59,990 And you might think, well geez we can't get anything 366 00:20:59,990 --> 00:21:01,570 accomplished in a minute. 367 00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:03,810 Well, you can, actually, because if you're 368 00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:06,180 watching TV and something comes on, 369 00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:09,340 your natural inclination might be to turn it off. 370 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:11,060 But how about if you said, you know, 371 00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:14,080 I'm uncomfortable with this, so let's talk a little bit 372 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,780 about why that's uncomfortable. 373 00:21:15,780 --> 00:21:18,750 It doesn't have to take a long time at all. 374 00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:20,990 I know my own kids got sick and tired 375 00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:24,540 of me saying every time a couple was hopping into bed saying, 376 00:21:24,540 --> 00:21:26,500 I didn't hear anybody talking about condoms, 377 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:29,400 did you hear anybody talking about condoms? 378 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:33,000 It wasn't a big lecture but it was 379 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,240 a message that came through. 380 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:38,340 So little bitty doses. 381 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:45,160 Somebody said the visuals, uncomfortable with the visuals. 382 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:50,340 So the Sexuality in Our Faith visuals are optional. 383 00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:53,940 So the congregation has an option 384 00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:56,290 whether to use them or not. 385 00:21:56,290 --> 00:21:58,700 The facilitators certainly are going 386 00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:01,890 to be involved in that discussion about whether to use 387 00:22:01,890 --> 00:22:03,600 them or not. 388 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,600 Individual parents get to determine 389 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,640 whether their children see them. 390 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,340 Just like no one can be in the OWL program without permission, 391 00:22:13,340 --> 00:22:16,840 no one can be seeing the visuals without a separate permission 392 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,530 slip. 393 00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:21,270 They have to see the visuals before they 394 00:22:21,270 --> 00:22:25,970 can sign that permission slip. 395 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:30,300 The way it's working now is that parents can either sign, 396 00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:34,540 yeah I'm fine OWL, the visuals, good to go. 397 00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:38,300 So they sign off at the parent orientation for all of it. 398 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:42,410 Or there's an option for them to decide later. 399 00:22:42,410 --> 00:22:44,700 So may they're thinking, well I want 400 00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:47,880 to see how my child fits in with OWL 401 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,050 and what my child's comfort level is, 402 00:22:50,050 --> 00:22:52,670 and then we'll decide about the slides. 403 00:22:52,670 --> 00:22:55,440 And maybe they'll say, well I think 404 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,940 my child could handle the anatomy slides, 405 00:22:57,940 --> 00:23:01,230 but I'm not sure about the masturbation slides, 406 00:23:01,230 --> 00:23:02,910 or the love making slides. 407 00:23:02,910 --> 00:23:07,010 Parents have a right to decide which of those three segments 408 00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:09,000 they want their child to see. 409 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,980 So there is a lot of flexibility there. 410 00:23:12,980 --> 00:23:14,620 And that's reassuring for parents 411 00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:19,670 to know that they don't have to sign on the dotted line right 412 00:23:19,670 --> 00:23:21,970 when they're at parent orientation. 413 00:23:21,970 --> 00:23:28,070 So that can be comfortable. 414 00:23:28,070 --> 00:23:28,570 Oh good. 415 00:23:28,570 --> 00:23:32,870 Somebody put in-- Thank you, Scott. 416 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:37,180 Scott put in a link for a video that Scott 417 00:23:37,180 --> 00:23:40,660 finds helpful as a way to talk to parents in advance, 418 00:23:40,660 --> 00:23:42,160 So there you go. 419 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:52,540 That's good. 420 00:23:52,540 --> 00:23:56,710 We firmly believe that parents play 421 00:23:56,710 --> 00:24:00,510 an essential role as their children's sexuality educator. 422 00:24:00,510 --> 00:24:03,800 And the OWL curriculum supports this at every level. 423 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:09,370 Those of you who use the K-1 or four-six curriculum 424 00:24:09,370 --> 00:24:12,130 are aware that we recommend Robie Harris 425 00:24:12,130 --> 00:24:13,910 books to be read at home. 426 00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:17,390 There are these home links assignments 427 00:24:17,390 --> 00:24:20,710 that teaches parents, kind of coaches 428 00:24:20,710 --> 00:24:25,350 them, in the process of being their children's 429 00:24:25,350 --> 00:24:28,280 sexuality educators. 430 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:33,050 Jessica York, the director of faith development for the UUA 431 00:24:33,050 --> 00:24:37,210 had posted a suggestion that if parents 432 00:24:37,210 --> 00:24:39,460 start working at those younger levels, 433 00:24:39,460 --> 00:24:41,780 then it gets easier to talk with their children 434 00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:44,830 as they are older, which is absolutely correct. 435 00:24:44,830 --> 00:24:48,530 And so the elementary school age OWL curricula help 436 00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:51,470 parents do that. 437 00:24:51,470 --> 00:24:55,610 With the seven to nine and the 10 to 12 curriculum, 438 00:24:55,610 --> 00:24:57,860 while there aren't homework assignments, 439 00:24:57,860 --> 00:25:02,510 the facilitators do encourage the young people 440 00:25:02,510 --> 00:25:06,580 to share with their parents what they're learning in OWL. 441 00:25:06,580 --> 00:25:10,950 Of course, we never want the young people to say, well, so 442 00:25:10,950 --> 00:25:12,080 and so said this. 443 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,340 We do want to maintain a safe space, 444 00:25:14,340 --> 00:25:17,420 but talking about the topics that arise. 445 00:25:17,420 --> 00:25:19,740 And sometimes parents have given us 446 00:25:19,740 --> 00:25:23,710 feedback that their children never before were 447 00:25:23,710 --> 00:25:28,420 willing to talk about sexuality, but something in an OWL class 448 00:25:28,420 --> 00:25:31,650 triggers something and they will ask questions 449 00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:33,300 or they will make comments, so there 450 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:37,250 can be a dialogue that begins because these young people have 451 00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:38,580 taken OWL classes. 452 00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:48,140 So that that's a nice thing. 453 00:25:48,140 --> 00:25:50,520 As a religious educator, for those of you 454 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,210 who are religious educators on this webinar tonight, 455 00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:56,300 you really play an important role 456 00:25:56,300 --> 00:26:00,170 in helping parents become their sexuality educators. 457 00:26:00,170 --> 00:26:02,995 Of course, the first step is offering OWL 458 00:26:02,995 --> 00:26:07,210 or making the decision to offering Our Whole Lives. 459 00:26:07,210 --> 00:26:10,630 Another way you can do that is by participating in the parent 460 00:26:10,630 --> 00:26:14,490 orientation rather than just leaving the facilitators to do 461 00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:16,350 it on their own. 462 00:26:16,350 --> 00:26:19,840 Your presence is a really important signal 463 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,060 that you feel this is an and important part 464 00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:24,310 of your programming that you offer. 465 00:26:24,310 --> 00:26:27,610 It also supports the facilitators 466 00:26:27,610 --> 00:26:30,920 because there may be parents that have questions 467 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:35,490 and by you being there, you can be a supportive presence, even 468 00:26:35,490 --> 00:26:36,970 if they answer the questions. 469 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,930 You're there being a supportive presence, 470 00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:41,700 so that's really helpful. 471 00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:46,276 Many religious educators try to attend facilitator training, 472 00:26:46,276 --> 00:26:47,650 so that even if they're not going 473 00:26:47,650 --> 00:26:51,300 to facilitate in an actual OWL program, 474 00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:54,320 they've been through the process of taking the training, 475 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,820 and they're more aware of how the program works 476 00:26:56,820 --> 00:26:58,870 and how the components fit together. 477 00:26:58,870 --> 00:27:03,340 So, if that's possible with your time schedule or your budget, 478 00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:07,220 I would certainly encourage you to do that. 479 00:27:07,220 --> 00:27:12,610 The other thing that you can do is model diversity 480 00:27:12,610 --> 00:27:18,260 and inclusion in putting a safe space sticker on your door, 481 00:27:18,260 --> 00:27:23,840 or a rainbow flag on your door, using the correct gender 482 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:28,150 language for people and youth in your congregation. 483 00:27:28,150 --> 00:27:32,070 So the behaviors that you model certainly 484 00:27:32,070 --> 00:27:34,730 create a good environment for sex 485 00:27:34,730 --> 00:27:42,160 positive sexuality education. 486 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,840 This picture of my little two mismatched owls 487 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,490 here, they are each unique in their own way. 488 00:27:48,490 --> 00:27:54,770 One of the things that I hear from sometimes parents, 489 00:27:54,770 --> 00:28:00,310 sometimes religious educators who contact me is about gender. 490 00:28:00,310 --> 00:28:03,490 That there's a lot of question about gender. 491 00:28:03,490 --> 00:28:05,070 Now that more and more young people 492 00:28:05,070 --> 00:28:09,320 are aware that there are different types of identities 493 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,470 and they're figuring out where they 494 00:28:11,470 --> 00:28:14,850 fit in the scheme of things, so many parents 495 00:28:14,850 --> 00:28:19,020 are very comfortable with shifts in their child's gender 496 00:28:19,020 --> 00:28:22,630 identity and they go with flow and they 497 00:28:22,630 --> 00:28:26,170 honor whatever kind of clothing or behaviors or names 498 00:28:26,170 --> 00:28:33,490 their children want to go by, and that's fine. 499 00:28:33,490 --> 00:28:37,310 Other parents are not so comfortable with it. 500 00:28:37,310 --> 00:28:39,940 They really struggle, because the child 501 00:28:39,940 --> 00:28:43,560 that they thought they knew one way is suddenly 502 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:48,710 evolving into a person that they might not understand. 503 00:28:48,710 --> 00:28:52,870 And sometimes they may focus their frustration on things 504 00:28:52,870 --> 00:28:56,720 like, well you know, why they have to change their name? 505 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:57,590 We picked that name. 506 00:28:57,590 --> 00:29:00,131 It's their grandfather's name, it's their grandmother's name. 507 00:29:00,131 --> 00:29:03,350 Or they might say, you know, what is it with the pronouns? 508 00:29:03,350 --> 00:29:05,980 I don't want to say "they," I don't want to say Z, 509 00:29:05,980 --> 00:29:07,960 I just want to say he or her. 510 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,150 So they're expressing this frustration 511 00:29:10,150 --> 00:29:13,550 and sometimes it's really not a grammar issue. 512 00:29:13,550 --> 00:29:14,840 It's not a name issue. 513 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,720 It's a fear issue. 514 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:21,210 A fear of not understanding this new world of gender options. 515 00:29:21,210 --> 00:29:27,350 Or being afraid that if their child isn't a boy or a girl, 516 00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:30,620 they might be victimized and bullied. 517 00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:32,330 And it's understandable that parents 518 00:29:32,330 --> 00:29:35,330 would be afraid of that. 519 00:29:35,330 --> 00:29:40,800 So the more that you can do to support these parents 520 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:47,270 in learning about differences in gender identity and orientation 521 00:29:47,270 --> 00:29:49,510 and supporting them and just loving 522 00:29:49,510 --> 00:29:54,580 their child, that certainly will be helpful for them. 523 00:29:54,580 --> 00:29:57,000 In the introduction to the second edition 524 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,610 of Our Whole Lives for grades seven to nine, 525 00:30:00,610 --> 00:30:03,575 author Pam Wilson writes, "Language 526 00:30:03,575 --> 00:30:07,690 is personal, cultural, regional and political. 527 00:30:07,690 --> 00:30:10,430 It can affirm and celebrate who we are 528 00:30:10,430 --> 00:30:13,320 and how we see ourselves, or it can 529 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,830 be diminishing, restricting, hurtful, or abusive. 530 00:30:17,830 --> 00:30:21,780 Language choices, especially related to identity labels, 531 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:23,990 shift constantly. 532 00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:27,020 Our perspectives change, we gain new insights, 533 00:30:27,020 --> 00:30:30,170 and then we find words that represent those new ideas 534 00:30:30,170 --> 00:30:32,070 and perspectives." 535 00:30:32,070 --> 00:30:33,840 And that holds true for children, too. 536 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,860 Of course they wouldn't use this sophisticated language, 537 00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:39,540 but they're learning new terminology. 538 00:30:39,540 --> 00:30:42,770 So a young person might say one day 539 00:30:42,770 --> 00:30:46,910 I'm pan sexual because they have heard this term 540 00:30:46,910 --> 00:30:51,320 and that seems to mean you could have 541 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,810 an attraction to many different kinds of people, 542 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:57,180 not just one kind of person. 543 00:30:57,180 --> 00:31:00,820 Or they might say, you know I thought I was bisexual, 544 00:31:00,820 --> 00:31:02,240 but now I'm pan sexual. 545 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:07,350 Or I thought I was transgender, but now I think gender fluid. 546 00:31:07,350 --> 00:31:10,020 So as they are learning the terminology, 547 00:31:10,020 --> 00:31:12,860 they're finding the words that fit them better. 548 00:31:12,860 --> 00:31:15,230 So it is evolving. 549 00:31:15,230 --> 00:31:16,300 So what can you do? 550 00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:18,680 Well you can certainly empathize with parents 551 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,070 who might be confused. 552 00:31:22,070 --> 00:31:24,700 Encourage them to respect whatever 553 00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:28,600 names and pronouns and identities their child 554 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:33,160 is trying on or identifying as. 555 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,870 If the child is public and if the parents are 556 00:31:36,870 --> 00:31:39,545 public about the child's identity, 557 00:31:39,545 --> 00:31:42,020 then one important role that you can play 558 00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:44,870 is making sure that your religious education 559 00:31:44,870 --> 00:31:47,330 teachers, facilitators, and the peers 560 00:31:47,330 --> 00:31:51,090 and the rest of the congregation are using the child's 561 00:31:51,090 --> 00:31:53,880 preferred name and pronouns. 562 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,660 You might get some push back from people who are just like, 563 00:31:56,660 --> 00:31:58,120 I can't be bothered. 564 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,800 This is really, really important. 565 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,550 A congregation is supposed to be a safe space. 566 00:32:03,550 --> 00:32:10,130 So you can help and play a really important role in that. 567 00:32:10,130 --> 00:32:15,220 So what do bathrooms have to do with sexuality education? 568 00:32:15,220 --> 00:32:17,520 Well, the act of offering and promoting 569 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,620 gender neutral restrooms is, of course, 570 00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:24,270 an issue of social justice for people who need them. 571 00:32:24,270 --> 00:32:26,880 But it's also a form of sexuality education, 572 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:31,280 because if you have a sign like this one on a restroom door, 573 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:34,460 then children see it, ask questions, 574 00:32:34,460 --> 00:32:35,760 their parents can answer it. 575 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,210 They're being sexuality educators in that moment. 576 00:32:39,210 --> 00:32:42,000 And, of course, if the children themselves or the parents 577 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,020 need that gender neutral bathroom, 578 00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:47,140 your supporting as a congregation 579 00:32:47,140 --> 00:32:51,350 this safe, accepting, inclusive space. 580 00:32:51,350 --> 00:32:57,710 Now sometimes congregations have parents expressed concerns 581 00:32:57,710 --> 00:32:59,310 about gender neutral bathrooms. 582 00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:02,890 There's a fear that somebody who doesn't belong there 583 00:33:02,890 --> 00:33:04,180 might be in the bathroom. 584 00:33:04,180 --> 00:33:07,700 And this is a long held stereotype and fear 585 00:33:07,700 --> 00:33:11,840 that there really needs to be nipped into the bud. 586 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:17,910 When research has been done-- since gender neutral bathrooms 587 00:33:17,910 --> 00:33:20,790 came into use, there is no increase 588 00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:26,110 in assaults or victimization in restrooms for this reason. 589 00:33:26,110 --> 00:33:30,700 So please calm any parents' fears that you have. 590 00:33:30,700 --> 00:33:33,200 And be supportive of those people 591 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,930 in your congregation and the visitors, 592 00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:38,480 who might need such a thing. 593 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:41,020 So what else can you do to support parents? 594 00:33:41,020 --> 00:33:43,360 Well one great way to do it is to create 595 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,650 a library of resources. 596 00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:49,800 And I know it can get expensive, but if somebody's 597 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,920 looking for a holiday gift, you can say, 598 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,240 it would be great to have a book to the library. 599 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,920 There are a couple resources I want to point out here. 600 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:05,240 And What Makes a Baby is among the new resources 601 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,100 that we have included in the resource section 602 00:34:09,100 --> 00:34:14,400 in the reprinted addition K-1 OWL, for example. 603 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,444 What Makes a Baby is by Cory Silverberg, who 604 00:34:17,444 --> 00:34:20,190 is a wonderful Canadian sex educator, 605 00:34:20,190 --> 00:34:27,639 and it talks about how babies are created both biologically 606 00:34:27,639 --> 00:34:30,800 and with assisted technologies and through adoption 607 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:31,650 and fostering. 608 00:34:31,650 --> 00:34:37,750 So it's a wonderful way of how babies come into families. 609 00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:41,969 He also wrote this new book called Sex is a Funny Word 610 00:34:41,969 --> 00:34:51,600 and it talks about anatomy, body safety and privacy, 611 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:55,949 and it's in a wonderful gender neutral, inclusive kind 612 00:34:55,949 --> 00:34:57,970 of language throughout the whole book. 613 00:34:57,970 --> 00:35:00,380 And so if you only have two books to buy, 614 00:35:00,380 --> 00:35:03,150 I would definitely say these are good ones. 615 00:35:03,150 --> 00:35:07,970 Sex is a Funny Word is for youth ages eight to 10. 616 00:35:07,970 --> 00:35:12,770 What Makes a Baby would be for younger children than that. 617 00:35:12,770 --> 00:35:15,950 It's also important to have other books for teens 618 00:35:15,950 --> 00:35:17,260 of all kinds. 619 00:35:17,260 --> 00:35:18,430 Here are two. 620 00:35:18,430 --> 00:35:20,720 Beyond Magenta down on the lower left 621 00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:24,660 is stories of transgender youth. 622 00:35:24,660 --> 00:35:29,110 GLBT is a nice book for people on the spectrum 623 00:35:29,110 --> 00:35:33,620 of sexual identities or orientations. 624 00:35:33,620 --> 00:35:37,610 Also the book S.E.X. by Heather Corinna 625 00:35:37,610 --> 00:35:40,250 is a nice resource that we actually mentioned in the seven 626 00:35:40,250 --> 00:35:42,580 to nine curriculum. 627 00:35:42,580 --> 00:35:47,030 Heather runs Scarleteen, which is a wonderful online answer 628 00:35:47,030 --> 00:35:50,200 site for young people, very popular. 629 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,610 And don't forget the parents. 630 00:35:52,610 --> 00:35:55,400 These are two relatively new books. 631 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,720 For Goodness Sex came out last fall. 632 00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:01,650 Talk to Me First, I think, came out last spring. 633 00:36:01,650 --> 00:36:03,780 Talk to Me First is by Deborah Roffman. 634 00:36:03,780 --> 00:36:06,500 She has won awards for sexuality education. 635 00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:09,060 Al Vernacchio, some of you may have seen. 636 00:36:09,060 --> 00:36:13,470 He does Ted Talks about educating kids about sexuality. 637 00:36:13,470 --> 00:36:23,470 So great resources that you can share with your congregation. 638 00:36:23,470 --> 00:36:25,040 Now a really exciting part. 639 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,510 We'd like to invite you to participate in a field 640 00:36:28,510 --> 00:36:31,990 test of a new curriculum that we've developed called 641 00:36:31,990 --> 00:36:36,820 Parents as Sexuality Educators. 642 00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:40,440 We will be starting the field tests this fall, 643 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:44,900 so if you are interested in being on the list, 644 00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:46,650 just write me an email. 645 00:36:46,650 --> 00:36:51,070 Right there owl@uua.org. 646 00:36:51,070 --> 00:36:53,330 And I'm keeping a list so that we can send you 647 00:36:53,330 --> 00:36:56,520 a personal invitation. 648 00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,570 What this program is, is an 11-session program. 649 00:37:00,570 --> 00:37:04,820 There are 10 workshops followed by-- the capstone 650 00:37:04,820 --> 00:37:09,260 in the series is a guest panel of young adults 651 00:37:09,260 --> 00:37:11,680 who would be from your community, preferably not 652 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,100 from your congregation, who could talk 653 00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:17,300 about the sexuality education they received 654 00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:18,980 from their parents. 655 00:37:18,980 --> 00:37:22,630 And maybe some of the things that went wrong 656 00:37:22,630 --> 00:37:25,430 and some of the things that went right. 657 00:37:25,430 --> 00:37:29,660 It's a way to hear from young people what works 658 00:37:29,660 --> 00:37:34,070 and what doesn't work. 659 00:37:34,070 --> 00:37:38,350 It's not an OWL curriculum, but it 660 00:37:38,350 --> 00:37:41,350 does cover some of the same topics 661 00:37:41,350 --> 00:37:46,760 and it certainly does embody the OWL values. 662 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,660 One of the things that it does is, 663 00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:54,000 it starts with the assumption that as adults we 664 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:58,890 have some preconceived notions about sexuality gained 665 00:37:58,890 --> 00:38:04,170 from our own experiences, from our own attitudes. 666 00:38:04,170 --> 00:38:07,140 And sometimes those preconceived notions 667 00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:10,660 can get in the way of effective communication 668 00:38:10,660 --> 00:38:12,520 with our children. 669 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,270 And so what this program does is each week there's 670 00:38:16,270 --> 00:38:19,740 a different topic and it explores the topic, 671 00:38:19,740 --> 00:38:27,690 gives some updated information about, for example, 672 00:38:27,690 --> 00:38:30,710 sexually transmitted infections, and then 673 00:38:30,710 --> 00:38:35,140 helps create a role play about how 674 00:38:35,140 --> 00:38:37,420 to talk about these things with your young person. 675 00:38:37,420 --> 00:38:40,320 And it evolves over the course of the program 676 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,810 from scripted role play where everyone just 677 00:38:42,810 --> 00:38:46,410 reads what the words are, to as the parents gain confidence, 678 00:38:46,410 --> 00:38:48,130 they don't need the script anymore 679 00:38:48,130 --> 00:38:50,970 and they can kind of go off the cuff. 680 00:38:50,970 --> 00:38:54,730 So it's a really, really interesting program. 681 00:38:54,730 --> 00:38:59,230 Important topics, sensitive topics, and it 682 00:38:59,230 --> 00:39:01,780 helps parents and caregivers to really engage 683 00:39:01,780 --> 00:39:07,010 in this content in a supportive community of their peers. 684 00:39:07,010 --> 00:39:10,510 It's intended for parents and caregivers of youth 685 00:39:10,510 --> 00:39:14,170 aged 12 to 14, but I would suggest 686 00:39:14,170 --> 00:39:16,580 that you opened it to anyone who really 687 00:39:16,580 --> 00:39:17,930 feels interested in attending. 688 00:39:17,930 --> 00:39:19,690 You might have religious educators who 689 00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:22,150 are interested in attending or people 690 00:39:22,150 --> 00:39:24,960 with younger or older children. 691 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,760 It's ideal for two facilitators. 692 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,460 You don't have to have them trained, 693 00:39:28,460 --> 00:39:32,200 so they don't have your OWL facilitators. 694 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:36,540 If you can have folks who've worked with adults before, 695 00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:39,230 that would be helpful, because adult learners 696 00:39:39,230 --> 00:39:42,260 differ from young learners. 697 00:39:42,260 --> 00:39:44,950 We do have instructions and information 698 00:39:44,950 --> 00:39:48,070 about adult learners actually in the curriculum, 699 00:39:48,070 --> 00:39:52,770 but that's just a selection suggestion that I would make. 700 00:39:52,770 --> 00:39:56,650 You can have from eight to 20 people in the program. 701 00:39:56,650 --> 00:39:59,270 If you have a few more, that would be fine. 702 00:39:59,270 --> 00:40:00,980 You probably don't want to have fewer, 703 00:40:00,980 --> 00:40:04,930 because it's hard to have any kind of small groups 704 00:40:04,930 --> 00:40:08,300 or interaction with fewer than eight people. 705 00:40:08,300 --> 00:40:12,590 You do not need to running an OWL program simultaneously, 706 00:40:12,590 --> 00:40:16,060 as I said, this is not an OWL program. 707 00:40:16,060 --> 00:40:19,120 So, if you wanted to, you could run your OWL program 708 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,340 and have the parents meet while the youth are meeting for OWL. 709 00:40:22,340 --> 00:40:23,830 That's certainly an option. 710 00:40:23,830 --> 00:40:27,640 But regardless of whether you have an OWL program running, 711 00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,510 you can offer this program. 712 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:33,340 I would suggest that this could be a really neat outreach 713 00:40:33,340 --> 00:40:36,680 initiative for your congregation if you promote this 714 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,620 to the wider community. 715 00:40:38,620 --> 00:40:42,700 It gives people a chance to get some really useful information 716 00:40:42,700 --> 00:40:47,620 while also seeing your congregation as a sex education 717 00:40:47,620 --> 00:40:51,950 supporting organization. 718 00:40:51,950 --> 00:40:55,450 So the goals of the program are to get parents and caregivers 719 00:40:55,450 --> 00:40:58,600 to talk about sexuality with their young people, 720 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:03,350 to accept their youth wherever they are and whoever they are. 721 00:41:03,350 --> 00:41:07,500 To support the youth in their normal developmental, social 722 00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:09,030 process. 723 00:41:09,030 --> 00:41:11,860 To trust the youth to know who they are 724 00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:13,580 and what their values are. 725 00:41:13,580 --> 00:41:17,000 And to really listen to the young people in their lives. 726 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,490 Doing more and more listening than talking, 727 00:41:19,490 --> 00:41:23,180 which is a really important skill. 728 00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:28,380 So please, even if you can't fit in all 11 sessions, 729 00:41:28,380 --> 00:41:31,700 please sign up to do as many as you can. 730 00:41:31,700 --> 00:41:33,950 We need your feedback because that's 731 00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:35,370 how we do all of our programs. 732 00:41:35,370 --> 00:41:38,120 We field test them and take your feedback 733 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:45,600 and incorporate that into the final document. 734 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,570 So how do you think you might use 735 00:41:47,570 --> 00:41:49,000 this program in your settings? 736 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:54,150 You can types some suggestions. 737 00:41:54,150 --> 00:41:58,170 How could you use the Parents as Sexuality educators 738 00:41:58,170 --> 00:42:10,780 in your group? 739 00:42:10,780 --> 00:42:13,880 So someone's asking about getting a copy of these slides. 740 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,490 These slides are going to be archived, 741 00:42:15,490 --> 00:42:17,650 so people can watch the whole webinar. 742 00:42:17,650 --> 00:42:22,210 Sure, later on. 743 00:42:22,210 --> 00:42:24,030 Anybody have any suggestions for how 744 00:42:24,030 --> 00:42:26,590 they could use the parents and caregivers 745 00:42:26,590 --> 00:42:36,620 of sexuality educators in their congregation? 746 00:42:36,620 --> 00:42:41,244 So offering it during OWL. 747 00:42:41,244 --> 00:42:43,410 It doesn't have to be just during seven to nine OWL, 748 00:42:43,410 --> 00:42:45,860 you could offer it at any level of OWL. 749 00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:48,130 So even if you're offering the K-1, 750 00:42:48,130 --> 00:42:53,900 if those parents have older children. 751 00:42:53,900 --> 00:42:56,440 Increasing general understanding that there's 752 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,040 a wider base of interest to normalize the discussion? 753 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,040 Absolutely. 754 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:02,760 It can open the door to OWL. 755 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,620 If you did the field test, even if you've never 756 00:43:05,620 --> 00:43:10,570 had an OWL program, by offering the parents 757 00:43:10,570 --> 00:43:15,150 as sexuality educators program, parents might realize, 758 00:43:15,150 --> 00:43:19,290 gee I want to be my child's sexuality educator, 759 00:43:19,290 --> 00:43:22,120 but I can't do it all myself. 760 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:25,180 So why can't we offer OWL in this setting, that 761 00:43:25,180 --> 00:43:29,171 could be good. 762 00:43:29,171 --> 00:43:31,825 Susan Lawrence: Melanie, I wanted to ask you, 763 00:43:31,825 --> 00:43:34,920 are there suggestions in the parent curriculum 764 00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:40,110 for concrete ways they can do some of the sexuality education 765 00:43:40,110 --> 00:43:42,300 with their children? 766 00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:42,820 I 767 00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:45,220 Dr. Melanie Davis: Yeah because the topics, 768 00:43:45,220 --> 00:43:50,600 all the major topics-- anatomy, healthy relationships, 769 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,890 those are all addressed in the parents as sexuality educators 770 00:43:53,890 --> 00:43:54,880 curriculum. 771 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:59,940 And so, they're tips on how to talk about it and things 772 00:43:59,940 --> 00:44:04,050 to talk about. 773 00:44:04,050 --> 00:44:05,830 Oh yeah, somebody is suggesting that you 774 00:44:05,830 --> 00:44:07,220 could do this every other year. 775 00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:08,660 Absolutely. 776 00:44:08,660 --> 00:44:12,830 So you could offer OWL to the youth in one year 777 00:44:12,830 --> 00:44:15,030 and offer the parents class in the off year. 778 00:44:15,030 --> 00:44:16,910 Absolutely. 779 00:44:16,910 --> 00:44:19,990 That's a good idea. 780 00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:24,470 So the UUA look at sexuality holistically, 781 00:44:24,470 --> 00:44:27,450 so we don't just offer OWL. 782 00:44:27,450 --> 00:44:30,960 We have other resources available to you, one of which 783 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:34,600 is our departments Faith Development Office's call 784 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:35,970 and response blog. 785 00:44:35,970 --> 00:44:38,750 I have a two pages shown here. 786 00:44:38,750 --> 00:44:42,500 One is in the corner here these are two blog posts 787 00:44:42,500 --> 00:44:47,910 that I wrote on my area of specialty in our staff group. 788 00:44:47,910 --> 00:44:50,340 One, how to help your first-year college students 789 00:44:50,340 --> 00:44:56,120 be sexually healthy, so this one is up currently right, Susan? 790 00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:59,880 So it's the things that you can do now 791 00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:02,760 if you have people going off to college. 792 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,570 Maybe you have some students who just bridged and are heading 793 00:45:05,570 --> 00:45:09,770 off, you can send this link to the parents 794 00:45:09,770 --> 00:45:11,250 in your congregation. 795 00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:14,010 The other one was a little while ago about social media 796 00:45:14,010 --> 00:45:18,890 and parents who share all sorts of details of their child's 797 00:45:18,890 --> 00:45:22,880 development online and my effort to encourage 798 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:29,500 them to maybe afford their children some privacy. 799 00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:33,640 We also talk about sexuality in the family pages that 800 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,190 are in the UUA world. 801 00:45:36,190 --> 00:45:38,530 In the so this was a special section 802 00:45:38,530 --> 00:45:43,110 that we did on body image and self esteem. 803 00:45:43,110 --> 00:45:45,100 That's actually my daughter. 804 00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:49,280 In the picture on the left. 805 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,800 I interviewed her for this particular article, 806 00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:55,800 because she had some body image stuff going on. 807 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:59,240 And so throughout the year in the family pages 808 00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:02,600 we'll try to work in some issues related to sexuality. 809 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:07,490 So be sure to look at all of the resources 810 00:46:07,490 --> 00:46:11,100 available from the UUA. 811 00:46:11,100 --> 00:46:14,305 This is a resource that you can keep for if you have 812 00:46:14,305 --> 00:46:17,510 a welcome table or an RE table. 813 00:46:17,510 --> 00:46:19,720 We have a brochure on the OWL pages 814 00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:22,060 that you can download called What's 815 00:46:22,060 --> 00:46:24,630 Religious About Sexuality Education 816 00:46:24,630 --> 00:46:29,730 and it talks about why our congregations are good places 817 00:46:29,730 --> 00:46:31,700 to offer sexuality education. 818 00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:35,530 So it's a nice resource for visitors who might be coming 819 00:46:35,530 --> 00:46:38,050 and maybe OWL is the tipping point 820 00:46:38,050 --> 00:46:41,810 that gets them to become members or friends 821 00:46:41,810 --> 00:46:43,500 of your congregation. 822 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,180 And it also supports parents you might be on the fence 823 00:46:46,180 --> 00:46:47,650 about taking OWL. 824 00:46:47,650 --> 00:46:49,300 This can be a nice resource. 825 00:46:49,300 --> 00:46:52,620 As I said, you can download it and print it. 826 00:46:52,620 --> 00:46:57,580 There's no cost to that. 827 00:46:57,580 --> 00:47:02,200 This is a page of links that you can access. 828 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:04,640 And I believe they've all been typed in the chat box 829 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:06,590 throughout this talk. 830 00:47:06,590 --> 00:47:08,550 These are a lot of the resources that we 831 00:47:08,550 --> 00:47:13,220 have that OWL pages of uua.org. 832 00:47:13,220 --> 00:47:15,360 So we have a facilitator training calendar. 833 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,605 If you or anyone in your congregation 834 00:47:17,605 --> 00:47:21,140 wants to attend a training, please don't just check it 835 00:47:21,140 --> 00:47:25,160 once because we are constantly adding new trainings as people 836 00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:28,550 tell us they are hosting them. 837 00:47:28,550 --> 00:47:31,570 There are promotional fliers for each level of OWL 838 00:47:31,570 --> 00:47:35,160 that have the table of contents for the program, 839 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,739 as well as information about the OWL values 840 00:47:37,739 --> 00:47:40,030 and assumption so you can put those on a bulletin board 841 00:47:40,030 --> 00:47:42,760 or distribute them to parents. 842 00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,070 We have facilitator resources, so if you 843 00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:48,260 are facilitators are looking for certain materials 844 00:47:48,260 --> 00:47:52,660 that they can use, they can go to that page and find them. 845 00:47:52,660 --> 00:47:55,860 If you'd like to host an OWL training yourself, 846 00:47:55,860 --> 00:47:59,070 sometimes it's less expensive to host an OWL training 847 00:47:59,070 --> 00:48:01,450 and bring people into your training 848 00:48:01,450 --> 00:48:04,160 than it is to send people to a training. 849 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,190 So we have a planning guide so you can do that. 850 00:48:06,190 --> 00:48:08,050 And you can always call me. 851 00:48:08,050 --> 00:48:10,010 I'm at your service to help you make 852 00:48:10,010 --> 00:48:12,740 the decisions about whether to host a training 853 00:48:12,740 --> 00:48:14,320 and how to do that. 854 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,110 We have lots of frequently asked questions. 855 00:48:17,110 --> 00:48:19,285 We've updated those all recently. 856 00:48:19,285 --> 00:48:21,800 Of course, we have the Sexuality is Honored Here brochure 857 00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,160 that we just talked about. 858 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:27,660 We have email lists for your facilitators. 859 00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:30,660 By no means are all of our facilitators 860 00:48:30,660 --> 00:48:31,610 subscribing to this. 861 00:48:31,610 --> 00:48:33,610 Please encourage your facilitators 862 00:48:33,610 --> 00:48:36,390 to be part of the email list. 863 00:48:36,390 --> 00:48:38,036 They self subscribe to it. 864 00:48:38,036 --> 00:48:39,910 Sometimes they think, oh I took the training, 865 00:48:39,910 --> 00:48:42,160 why am I'm not getting emails. 866 00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:43,320 It's an opt-in. 867 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,924 They have to opt themselves in, so please 868 00:48:45,924 --> 00:48:47,840 encourage them to do that so they can dialogue 869 00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,180 with other facilitators. 870 00:48:50,180 --> 00:48:53,050 I also moderate that, so if there 871 00:48:53,050 --> 00:48:56,300 are questions that are best answered by the UUA, 872 00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:58,990 I can do that. 873 00:48:58,990 --> 00:48:59,910 And then there I am. 874 00:48:59,910 --> 00:49:01,640 The UUA OWL program associate. 875 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:06,320 I am absolutely committed to answering all of your questions 876 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:10,010 and helping you problem solve. 877 00:49:10,010 --> 00:49:13,120 So my phone number is there and my OWL address 878 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:17,110 and that big URL at the bottom that's 879 00:49:17,110 --> 00:49:23,140 your starting point for Everything Susan? 880 00:49:23,140 --> 00:49:25,930 Susan Lawrence: Yes, thanks Melanie. 881 00:49:25,930 --> 00:49:28,800 I would like to tell everybody about our next webinar. 882 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,550 And we're going to have time for some more 883 00:49:30,550 --> 00:49:33,140 questions and conversation after I tell you about that. 884 00:49:33,140 --> 00:49:34,640 But I do see a question that we need 885 00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,660 to get back to that got lost in the chat box, which 886 00:49:37,660 --> 00:49:41,300 has to do with the images and the policy-- 887 00:49:41,300 --> 00:49:44,260 OK I'll just read it because it's right in front of me. 888 00:49:44,260 --> 00:49:46,340 This group had a policy in some sessions 889 00:49:46,340 --> 00:49:49,200 that it's all in our none for the images. 890 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,890 The idea of not to single out kids for seeing some images 891 00:49:51,890 --> 00:49:53,950 and excluding some kids from it. 892 00:49:53,950 --> 00:49:55,970 But they realized as a well meaning 893 00:49:55,970 --> 00:49:58,280 in terms of inclusiveness on site there, 894 00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,010 but it needs any parent could have veto 895 00:50:00,010 --> 00:50:02,390 power over the entire group. 896 00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:03,490 What's your thoughts? 897 00:50:03,490 --> 00:50:04,930 Dr. Melanie Davis: So my thoughts 898 00:50:04,930 --> 00:50:08,840 are that kids miss OWL meetings for all sorts of reasons. 899 00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,970 They've got scouts, they've got soccer, 900 00:50:11,970 --> 00:50:13,510 they have a cold, whatever. 901 00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:17,030 And you don't have to make a big deal out 902 00:50:17,030 --> 00:50:20,280 of a kid being out of class the day the visuals happen 903 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:20,910 to be shown. 904 00:50:20,910 --> 00:50:24,930 Nobody has to know the parents didn't give permission. 905 00:50:24,930 --> 00:50:27,869 Just whoever's there gets to see them. 906 00:50:27,869 --> 00:50:30,160 The important thing is, before you show them, make sure 907 00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:33,450 that the facilitators check permission slips. 908 00:50:33,450 --> 00:50:39,740 But absolutely don't let one parent or two parents 909 00:50:39,740 --> 00:50:42,820 affect what you're offering to the rest of the youth. 910 00:50:42,820 --> 00:50:46,320 Because the thing is, you never know when there's 911 00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:50,340 one image in one of those that's that young person could say, 912 00:50:50,340 --> 00:50:53,910 that's me, that's my experience. 913 00:50:53,910 --> 00:50:55,720 And it's so empowering for them. 914 00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:58,030 Or gee, I had a concern about that, 915 00:50:58,030 --> 00:51:01,300 and they talked about that in the narration. 916 00:51:01,300 --> 00:51:05,640 So the visuals can be really, really helpful. 917 00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:09,140 Also, the fact that they're seeing adults, 918 00:51:09,140 --> 00:51:11,240 they're not seeing young people. 919 00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:13,780 And so they're getting a message that sexual behavior 920 00:51:13,780 --> 00:51:15,800 is for mature people who can make 921 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,930 mature decisions about protection and about love 922 00:51:19,930 --> 00:51:24,050 and caring relationships. 923 00:51:24,050 --> 00:51:28,280 When in doubt, offer the visuals and let any individual parents 924 00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:33,590 opt out if they want. 925 00:51:33,590 --> 00:51:36,200 Susan Lawrence: Joseph says that confirms 926 00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,260 what he was thinking, so great. 927 00:51:39,260 --> 00:51:40,840 [INAUDIBLE] situation like that, do 928 00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,110 have any suggestions on the protocol for how 929 00:51:43,110 --> 00:51:46,820 to finesse the situation if the sides are to be shown, 930 00:51:46,820 --> 00:51:49,030 and there is a young person there 931 00:51:49,030 --> 00:51:51,460 who is not permitted see them. 932 00:51:51,460 --> 00:51:52,880 Dr. Melanie Davis: Sure. 933 00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,410 It's really a question of scheduling. 934 00:51:55,410 --> 00:51:59,200 What I would do is probably do to the workshop that 935 00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:02,490 involves the visuals by itself. 936 00:52:02,490 --> 00:52:04,990 So it's not part of a retreat. 937 00:52:04,990 --> 00:52:08,110 So if you're showing the visuals in a retreat setting where 938 00:52:08,110 --> 00:52:10,380 there's an expectation that people are going 939 00:52:10,380 --> 00:52:13,220 to come on Friday night leave on Saturday night, 940 00:52:13,220 --> 00:52:16,390 and you're showing the visuals on midday Saturday, 941 00:52:16,390 --> 00:52:20,200 that's really awkward, because that one person has to leave. 942 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:26,390 So make your OWL schedules so that precludes 943 00:52:26,390 --> 00:52:28,260 it, so it's a standalone-- you know, 944 00:52:28,260 --> 00:52:30,110 we're having a meeting on Sunday afternoon, 945 00:52:30,110 --> 00:52:32,760 all we're going to do is the workshop with the visuals. 946 00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:35,116 And then if somebody is absent, they're absent. 947 00:52:35,116 --> 00:52:37,240 Susan Lawrence: So you communicate with the parents 948 00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:41,260 and let them know that's what's on the agenda. 949 00:52:41,260 --> 00:52:41,760 Yeah. 950 00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:43,680 Thanks. 951 00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:46,029 OK, as I said, you can start typing questions 952 00:52:46,029 --> 00:52:46,820 if you've got them. 953 00:52:46,820 --> 00:52:49,180 Meanwhile, I'm going to tell you about our upcoming 954 00:52:49,180 --> 00:52:52,410 webinar, which is in July. 955 00:52:52,410 --> 00:52:55,610 And these are the dates Tuesday, July 14 at one o'clock 956 00:52:55,610 --> 00:53:00,030 Eastern time or Wednesday, July 15 nine o'clock Eastern time, 957 00:53:00,030 --> 00:53:02,780 the same webinar session is done twice. 958 00:53:02,780 --> 00:53:04,645 And the topic is Cultural Competence 959 00:53:04,645 --> 00:53:09,010 with Disability, Conversations for Access and Possibility. 960 00:53:09,010 --> 00:53:11,200 We have a presenter, Theresa Soto, 961 00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:14,510 who is a ministerial intern in Oregon, 962 00:53:14,510 --> 00:53:17,120 and she is involved with Equal Access, which, 963 00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:18,620 if you aren't familiar with it, it's 964 00:53:18,620 --> 00:53:21,220 an organization-- not an official part of the UUA-- 965 00:53:21,220 --> 00:53:25,120 but it's a group that is committed to disabilities 966 00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:28,660 and other differences, awareness and making sure inclusion 967 00:53:28,660 --> 00:53:31,390 is as full as can be in congregational life 968 00:53:31,390 --> 00:53:32,740 and other programs. 969 00:53:32,740 --> 00:53:35,010 This is particularly towards religious education 970 00:53:35,010 --> 00:53:37,640 settings, but applicable across congregational life. 971 00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:40,725 So it should be really interesting and helpful. 972 00:53:40,725 --> 00:53:44,590 Dr. Melanie Davis: And Susan, this is not just about OWL, 973 00:53:44,590 --> 00:53:45,450 it's about-- 974 00:53:45,450 --> 00:53:47,070 Susan Lawrence: Right. 975 00:53:47,070 --> 00:53:49,390 It's OWL, RE and beyond. 976 00:53:49,390 --> 00:53:52,200 I think the focus is possibly going to be RE, 977 00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,280 but it's really about every time we get together 978 00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,840 and we're trying to be having faith development together 979 00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:57,992 how to be inclusive. 980 00:53:57,992 --> 00:54:00,450 A little bit, I think, she wants to speak about sensitivity 981 00:54:00,450 --> 00:54:02,570 a little bit, and particularly about language 982 00:54:02,570 --> 00:54:06,449 and how to be prepared for language situations 983 00:54:06,449 --> 00:54:08,740 when you want to be inclusive and maybe haven't thought 984 00:54:08,740 --> 00:54:10,031 about what the right words are. 985 00:54:10,031 --> 00:54:13,450 I know it's one thing she wants to cover. 986 00:54:13,450 --> 00:54:16,240 So it should be great. 987 00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:18,700 Well, thank you Melanie, for a great presentation. 988 00:54:18,700 --> 00:54:21,470 We have almost filled our hour, but we have time 989 00:54:21,470 --> 00:54:23,470 to talk for four more minutes. 990 00:54:23,470 --> 00:54:25,570 So I encourage you to take advantage 991 00:54:25,570 --> 00:54:38,530 of our sexuality education expert. 992 00:54:38,530 --> 00:54:40,530 Dr. Melanie Davis: I just have to put this slide 993 00:54:40,530 --> 00:54:50,906 because it's so cute. 994 00:54:50,906 --> 00:54:52,780 It's funny I was just about to bring that up. 995 00:54:52,780 --> 00:54:53,510 Go ahead. 996 00:54:53,510 --> 00:54:55,080 Susan Lawrence: Yes you did. 997 00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:58,140 Scott asks whether the four to six is being revised. 998 00:54:58,140 --> 00:55:04,450 As we speak, we are working with two co-authors, both of whom 999 00:55:04,450 --> 00:55:08,720 are experienced OWL trainers and facilitators 1000 00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:14,800 and we're very excited about what we're seeing so far. 1001 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:19,660 And we don't have a date for the field test, 1002 00:55:19,660 --> 00:55:22,610 but it will be sometime in 2016, we'll 1003 00:55:22,610 --> 00:55:25,720 be offering that for field test. 1004 00:55:25,720 --> 00:55:28,220 And again, looking for your input, 1005 00:55:28,220 --> 00:55:33,160 because sometimes we make all the best laid 1006 00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,640 plans about-- this will take 20 minutes, 1007 00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:40,780 or this will take five minutes or, this is really easy to do. 1008 00:55:40,780 --> 00:55:45,760 And then when facilitators actually try it in the lab, 1009 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,320 so to speak, we need that feedback 1010 00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,050 to make it as good as possible, so we're 1011 00:55:51,050 --> 00:55:52,050 very excited about that. 1012 00:55:52,050 --> 00:55:53,890 And please keep an eye out. 1013 00:55:53,890 --> 00:55:58,050 We will be posting announcements on the [INAUDIBLE] listserv, 1014 00:55:58,050 --> 00:55:59,780 on the OWL pages. 1015 00:55:59,780 --> 00:56:04,110 We will promote it through the facilitator email lists. 1016 00:56:04,110 --> 00:56:07,030 Pretty anywhere we can, we'll be letting 1017 00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:12,807 you know that the time is right to sign up for that field test. 1018 00:56:12,807 --> 00:56:14,140 Susan Lawrence:1 Thanks Melanie. 1019 00:56:14,140 --> 00:56:16,820 We have a question about standalone workshops for use 1020 00:56:16,820 --> 00:56:19,205 on campuses, which is. 1021 00:56:19,205 --> 00:56:23,430 Dr. Melanie Davis: So yes, in fact, interestingly enough, 1022 00:56:23,430 --> 00:56:26,390 when I went to graduate school, I 1023 00:56:26,390 --> 00:56:28,720 got my PhD in sexuality education 1024 00:56:28,720 --> 00:56:31,840 and one of the things they were using 1025 00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:35,700 was material from the seven to nine OWL curriculum, 1026 00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:37,530 and I'm like, wait a minute, I teach this. 1027 00:56:37,530 --> 00:56:42,610 Why am I paying to get it at graduate school? 1028 00:56:42,610 --> 00:56:44,740 But yes, there are bits and pieces 1029 00:56:44,740 --> 00:56:49,820 that sometimes people pull out to use in classrooms. 1030 00:56:49,820 --> 00:56:53,570 We are aware of people who've used 1031 00:56:53,570 --> 00:56:56,530 to individual Healthy Relationships workshops 1032 00:56:56,530 --> 00:57:01,220 from the young adult curricula The resident assistants 1033 00:57:01,220 --> 00:57:07,280 in the dorms sometimes use OWL that way. 1034 00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,910 Absolutely, you can use it in that setting. 1035 00:57:09,910 --> 00:57:11,510 Of course, on a college campus you 1036 00:57:11,510 --> 00:57:13,120 don't need to get parents' signatures, 1037 00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,260 so that makes life a little bit easier. 1038 00:57:15,260 --> 00:57:19,610 One thing that is important to know, 1039 00:57:19,610 --> 00:57:21,110 the sexuality and interfaith visuals 1040 00:57:21,110 --> 00:57:24,410 that go with the seven to nine and the 10-12 curriculum 1041 00:57:24,410 --> 00:57:29,490 may never be used in any other setting than OWL seven to nine, 1042 00:57:29,490 --> 00:57:35,340 OWL 10 to 12, in a United Church of Christ or Unitarian setting. 1043 00:57:35,340 --> 00:57:38,320 If you're using OWL at any level on a college 1044 00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:41,840 campus or another setting, you may not use those visuals. 1045 00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:45,675 It's absolutely prohibited. 1046 00:57:45,675 --> 00:57:48,360 Susan Lawrence: Melanie wouldn't people 1047 00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,930 want to be using the young adult? 1048 00:57:50,930 --> 00:57:53,980 Dr. Melanie Davis: Yeah but I have had requests 1049 00:57:53,980 --> 00:57:57,880 for people to use the visuals for other age levels 1050 00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:59,282 and it's not allowed. 1051 00:57:59,282 --> 00:58:01,490 Susan Lawrence: No, I mean for the college situation, 1052 00:58:01,490 --> 00:58:04,700 people are raising some things about college. 1053 00:58:04,700 --> 00:58:08,430 Women's gender and sexuality studies, 1054 00:58:08,430 --> 00:58:10,320 in what way is appropriate to incorporate 1055 00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,690 some of the OWL materials and teachings into it? 1056 00:58:12,690 --> 00:58:17,590 Dr. Melanie Davis: Oh well, any workshop that you feel 1057 00:58:17,590 --> 00:58:21,180 would add to your curriculum, you're welcome to use. 1058 00:58:21,180 --> 00:58:23,090 The only prohibition, again, is the visuals 1059 00:58:23,090 --> 00:58:24,890 for the younger grades. 1060 00:58:24,890 --> 00:58:27,240 But yeah, if you want to talk to me, 1061 00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:32,140 I teach human sexuality to undergrads and graduate 1062 00:58:32,140 --> 00:58:32,640 students. 1063 00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,680 So feel free to email me directly 1064 00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:37,960 and we can have a conversation about that. 1065 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:40,335 Susan Lawrence: That answers the next question, which is, 1066 00:58:40,335 --> 00:58:42,412 is there anyone we can talk to? 1067 00:58:42,412 --> 00:58:43,798 That would be you. 1068 00:58:43,798 --> 00:58:46,320 Dr. Melanie Davis: You can talk to me, because I've done it. 1069 00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:47,986 Absolutely. 1070 00:58:47,986 --> 00:58:51,160 Susan Lawrence: This is a great suggestion from [INAUDIBLE]. 1071 00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,740 We've talked about using seven through nine for college 1072 00:58:53,740 --> 00:58:57,160 as a way of having the students discuss their own educations. 1073 00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,880 And maybe where they were inadequate. 1074 00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:00,632 So, great. 1075 00:59:00,632 --> 00:59:02,090 Dr. Melanie Davis: You can do that, 1076 00:59:02,090 --> 00:59:04,740 but why not use the adult curriculum 1077 00:59:04,740 --> 00:59:07,720 for that age bracket? 1078 00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:11,240 The social scenarios in the young adult curriculum 1079 00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:15,240 are aged up and more appropriate for young adults. 1080 00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:20,410 So depends on what population you're working with, 1081 00:59:20,410 --> 00:59:24,530 but for young adults, I would probably shoot more 1082 00:59:24,530 --> 00:59:28,142 for the young adult curriculum. 1083 00:59:28,142 --> 00:59:30,240 Susan Lawrence: We are at our hour. 1084 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:33,220 So I would encourage people who may want to talk some more, 1085 00:59:33,220 --> 00:59:35,495 feel free to get in touch with Melanie. 1086 00:59:35,495 --> 00:59:38,300 And I'm going to type for email in here. 1087 00:59:38,300 --> 00:59:45,180 mjdavis@uua.org and we like to have interactions, 1088 00:59:45,180 --> 00:59:47,680 so thank you very much for being with us. 1089 00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:49,530 And we hope seen you at another webinar 1090 00:59:49,530 --> 00:59:51,167 and to talk with you again soon 1091 00:59:51,167 --> 00:59:52,625 Dr. Melanie Davis: Goodnight folks. 1092 00:59:52,625 --> 00:59:53,640 Susan Lawrence: Thanks everybody. 1093 00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:55,610 Thinks Alicia, who's invisible, but still here. 1094 00:59:55,610 --> 00:59:58,560 Dr. Melanie Davis: Thanks Alicia, thanks Susan. 1095 00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:05,400